


No Goodbyes

by Nikky_the_writer



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-12 09:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16870846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikky_the_writer/pseuds/Nikky_the_writer
Summary: Based on a song No goodbyes from Dua LipaParts written in Italic are the pastWarnings: slight smut (I’m not sure if the warning is needed for this), nsfw





	No Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my Tumblr: @nikky-the-writter

> **Maybe one day I can see you**
> 
> **We can smile and wave**
> 
> **And it’ll be okay**

There are no words with which you could describe what you were feeling right now. There was a moment of sadness, but also a moment of happiness seeing him after years of being apart.

Since he left, you refused to keep in contact just as you thought he did although neither of you admitted to yourself the reason for it; it was obvious; it would be too painful. 

The love that you both had for each other kept you both going on, but it also held you back as it did when you were together. It wasn’t simple to be in the relationship with your best friend although you both thought that it would. It wasn’t the fights that broke you apart, it was love. It was that feeling that would keep you awake during night when he was away; it was that moment when you would reach towards his side of the bed only finding it cold. You were both addicted to each other and what was coming couldn’t keep you together because he was leaving to what seemed to you the end of the universe for far too long. Too long for your heart to survive with a few texts a day and barely a call every night. So you both let go of each other, but firstly you let yourself to be happy for a moment.

 

 

> **We don’t have to**
> 
> **See the light of truth**
> 
> **Between me and you**
> 
> **We can stay blind**

_You were here many times before; in his arms feeling safe and protected, but nothing could be compared with it now. This moment you will cherish forever because this is the last time and somehow it meant to you more than the first time. First, everything is excited and it makes you a bit scare, but now. The last moment that you are close to him, the last time he is yours and you are his. It scares you to the death, it makes your heart break and it leaves you empty and numb._

_˝I know that after tonight we..˝, there was hope in his voice. He wanted to make it work, but you couldn’t._

_˝James, please don’t. Let’s pretend, that is everything that I am asking from you.˝ Your voice was breaking as you could feel his warmth beside you. His fingers were intertwined with yours as you were sitting on the bed staring at the suitcases._

_˝I wish I could, why can’t we try?˝_

_Tilting your head to the side you stared at his face. You wished that it wasn’t the end, but maybe that would be the best for you both. Your breath caught in your throat as tears rolled down his cheek. This was not the way you wanted to remember what you had._

_Straddling him you placed your palm on his chest and the other on the side of his neck lifting his jaw with your thumb. ˝We have hurt each other too many times, we said the thing we never meant, and however, we still said them. I know that you love me and I love you, but I would rather break us both now than living with false hops just to be left broken at the end. You have a chance and I won’t stop you and also I won’t stop loving you with all of my heart.˝ After kissing his cheek where the tear was leaving a wet trail you kissed his lips memorizing the softness of them. You didn’t want this to feel like goodbye, however, you couldn’t forget that even for a moment, and that’s why you made love to him like there was nothing left for you. Every time you kissed him your body would tremble enveloped with the sudden feeling of sadness. Every touch of his fingers against your skin burnt you imprinting in your memory. All the words that were exchanged, all the confessions that were made you knew what they were, a pretty lies that you both hopped were the truth, however, you weren’t blind to them no matter how much you wanted to be even just for a second._

>  
> 
> **When we start saying things**
> 
> **Yeah, I hurt you, and you hurt me**
> 
> **Yeah, we did some things that we can never take back**
> 
> **And we tried hard just to fix it**
> 
> **But we broke it more**

As you were watching him from the distance you took your time to observe him before he noticed you in the crowd. He was far away, but somehow you couldn’t miss the way his eyes glowed under the sun, the way his mouth formed a smile, although it didn’t reach his eyes it seemed genuine. His hair was longer and he looked a bit older and it suited him.

Looking at him you couldn’t force yourself to look away or to stop yourself from smiling, but in the moment when his eyes stopped on you, the only thing you were able to do was wave at him before disappearing in the crowd.

You weren’t aware that he searched for you since he moved back, you weren’t aware that he went home after just two days away enable to be without you. He tried to call you, to call your friends and family, but without succeeding in finding you. And you didn’t know the sorrow that he felt when he walked into your shared home only to find it empty and cold just as his heart was.

 

> **For tonight**
> 
> **Let’s love like there’s no goodbyes**
> 
> **Just for tonight**
> 
> **Pretend that it’s all alright**

_It wasn’t the warm touch that woke you up; it was rather the coldness of the empty room. As you opened your eyes it finally hit you like a bloody wrecking ball. From the moment you decided to cut all ties with him you knew that you have made a mistake, however you couldn’t force yourself to make it right not even when you knew how much you meant to him and he to you._

_He left a letter for you on his pillow. It was folded neatly with your name on it although you knew it was for you, you never opened it. After you packed everything from your shared home you placed the letter in one of the boxes and as much as you didn’t want to admit that you want to wake up next to the man you love again you couldn’t lie to yourself. But after all, you still wake up every day in the morning with the unopened letter on your bedside table next to the picture of you both and you asked yourself: why it couldn’t last?_

> **And so I guess some things are not meant to last**
> 
> **Is it too much to ask?**

 


End file.
